anxiety is terrible, you could be having an attack and no one would even know because it’s an inward thing. it feels like you’re malfunctioning and you can’t process your own thoughts. you get a knot in your stomach and you can’t take a full breath but outwardly you can literally just sit there and look completely normal as long as no one tries to speak to you.
I was thirteen,
when the leaves fell,
when the rain poured,
when the day became dark,
I was fourteen,
when the red ink fell from my skin,
when the sunlight stopped shining in,
when my patience grew thin,
I was fifteen,
when release became addiction,
when I realized I was no more of a flower then a weed,
when I realized I needed alcohol just to see,
I was almost sixteen,
when I wore my pain under my sleeves,
when I saw shadows as killers,
when I realized only the dustiest corners of my brain,
I am not sane.
Sixteen years old and ready to die.